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"But one of the things you need to do are minimal encouragers, where you let the other person know, I'm hearing what you're saying.I'm interested in what you're saying, with what you're doing right now.He uses his techniques from Chapter Nine, Infrared Dating, of his book, .In this chapter, he empowers women with information-gathering tactics that will start real, substantive conversations and set up key situations for them to observe, in order to get the real scoop on where they are and could be headed. Phil has developed a series of questions and guideposts that women can, with considerable reliability, use to predict where these guys will come down on the issues that really matter to them — marriage, family, respect and values.

If you’re carrying baggage — insecurities, fear, desperation — people can tell. Phil cautions about expecting someone to meet a checklist, he does think it’s OK to have deal breakers.

Online dating can be a great tool for broadening your options as long as you are smart, are cautious and take some very important safety steps.

If you’re not sure how you might be perceived, ask someone who will tell you the truth.

And how do you know when it's time to let go and look for love somewhere else? The man you want lacks integrity and can't make a commitment. What is it about you that you believe about yourself that you're willing to settle for that? Be honest with yourself about the extent to which he's really meeting your needs.

If you're "the other woman" who's waiting for a man to leave his lover, don't waste your time. " Recognize that you're settling and that you deserve more. Chances are you're longing for the relationship that you wish it could be, and that you want to be in love with the person you wish he was. Phil reminds a guest: "There are times when you break up with somebody and you start missing them and you start thinking about all the good things.