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They told us this over and over, every one of them, like reading from a script: When I was young, I didn’t understand that as an insult, lifting girls up in the singular while putting us down in the plural.

The guys my friends and I dated made it seem like there was nothing strange about men in their 20s sexually pursuing teenage girls—after all, we were so old for our age. They had never met girls like us, girls who knew so much, girls who understood them so well.

Some parents give their teenagers permission, but some feel totally uncomfortable.

"My 16-year-old daughter is comfortable calling boys," Sue Bleney stated in the article "Girls calling Boys " (Teenagers Today, 2/28/06).

To a young girl, dating an older guy can raise her status among friends, says Steven Kairys, MD, chair of pediatrics at Jersey Shore University Medical Center and an expert on adolescent relationships.

“With teenagers, a three-year difference in age is a powerful differential,” says Kairys, who also serves as medical director for the New Jersey Chapter of the American Academy of Pediatrics.